Being a parent is a journey like no other. It's a path filled with joy, growth, and inevitable challenges. As a mom, I've experienced the rollercoaster of emotions, and if I'm honest, I've come to realize that parenting is hard. In this blog post, I want to share a personal revelation I had about the importance of giving our children the freedom to fail, and how this crucial lesson has shaped my parenting journey.
For a significant portion of my life as a mother, I saw my role as a protector. I aimed to shield my children from hurt, pain, and disappointment. It was a natural instinct for any parent. We want the best for our kids, and we want to see them happy. But it was during my son's early years in public school that I realized something profound: I couldn't protect him from every hardship life would throw at him.
As my children grew, this realization became even more apparent. I began to understand that part of my job as a parent was not just to protect, but to prepare. I needed to give them the freedom to fail because failure is an integral part of growth.
One vivid moment that drove this message home occurred during one of my son's baseball seasons. I could see his potential, and I knew he wanted to be an asset to his team. However, there was a significant obstacle in his way - a mental block, a self-imposed wall that only he could break down. Beyond that wall lay his untapped potential. The result of this was several games where his fear of not hitting the ball, caused him to not swing. It was heartbreaking as a mom.
My husband and I decided to invest in cultivating healthy thoughts and reinforcing his self-belief. We sat down and listened to his concerns, offering support and guidance. We wanted him to understand that it's okay to make mistakes, that failures are not the end of the world. We also became more vocal of our own failures.
The one who falls and gets up is stronger than the one who never tried. Do not fear failure but rather fear not trying.
Roy T. Bennett
And though I wish I could say that he ended the season with a home run, that didn’t happen. But as parents we kept encouraging, loving and uplifting. Today our son is a vastly more confident version of the kid who refused to swing.
And he recently decided to take up football as he transitions into high school. This has brought with it a new set of challenges, but he is undeterred, and for that I am so proud.
(And my hope is that next school year he tries out for baseball too, fingers crossed.)
Here are some valuable tips for parents based on this journey of embracing the freedom to fail:
1. Open Communication: Create a safe space for your children to express their concerns and fears. Encourage open dialogue about their struggles, and let them know you're there to listen and support.
2. Encourage Resilience: Teach your children that setbacks and failures are part of life. Show them that these experiences can be valuable lessons that lead to personal growth.
3. Positive Reinforcement: Help your children build self-confidence by acknowledging their efforts, not just their successes. Encourage them to persevere, even when they encounter challenges.
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that every child is unique, and their abilities and timelines may differ. Avoid imposing unrealistic expectations, and let them progress at their own pace.
5. Lead by Example: Children learn from observing their parents. Show them that it's okay to make mistakes, and that you, too, can learn and grow from your own failures.
In the journey of parenthood, the freedom to fail is a gift we can give to our children. It's the foundation upon which they'll build resilience, determination, and the ability to face life's challenges with courage. Embracing this concept has not only transformed my parenting approach but also allowed my children to develop into confident, self-assured individuals who understand that it's okay to stumble on their path to success.
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